Monday, June 30, 2014

Homeschoolers Get Bullied, Too

It's a false stereotype that homeschoolers don't get bullied.  As you may, or may not, know, I have been homeschooled since the cradle.  I've been bullied at church, at homeschool co-ops, at homeschool support groups, and pretty much any where there are people.

From a young age, I was very confident and did not care what anybody thought of me, except for God, who is the only one that matters.  I dressed the way I wanted.  I knew who I was.  And I knew I wanted to impact the world in an artistic way.  I was in elementary school when my one of my best friends moved away. And my other best friend started public school, so we weren't able to hang out much anymore.  I felt very alone, like I didn't have any friends.  I just wanted a friend again, someone to hang out with, who was homeschooled.   I got a friend, but not a good one.

My new friend was a not a very nice girl, and made fun of me all the time.  Anything I would do, what I was wearing, what I was doing, how I was singing, what movies I was watching, how I painted my nails, EVERYTHING!  She would make fun of me everyday I saw her, and occasionally, I would see her everyday of the week.  The worst thing is, I didn't realize the extent to which she was bullying me, or how her words were affecting me, until we had a been "BFFFFF" for close to six years.  Six years is a long time to be "friends" with a mean girl.  She had put me down so much, that I didn't think I was good at anything.  One of the worst parts was that I was no longer dressing the way that I actually wanted to.  I just dressed how I didn't think I would get picked on, or made fun of.

Also, before I had even met my new "BFF", I had been bullied in a homeschool support group for how I dressed, and big time picked on if I carried a purse.  To this day, I am afraid of getting made fun of for carrying a purse, which is stupid, because even toddlers carry purses.  I shouldn't be afraid to carry a purse!

After all that stuff happened, I am finally getting back to, years later, what my actual style is in dressing the way I want to dress and not worrying what other people think.  I'm not all the way there yet, but I'm working on getting my confidence back.

A good thing about myself personally is that I know who I am and what my style is.  Some people have to do the "Who am I" search.  I know who I am, I just wasn't being myself for a few years.

I've been getting into wearing a lot of skirts and dresses lately.  I really like them.  But I recently started going to church that is kind of known for the the girls in the family only wearing skirts, like a Duggar situation kind of thing.  I don't want anyone to think that I am being forced to wear a skirt, or that I will never wear pants again.  I just like skirts and dresses.  I'll still wear jeans when I want to.

I was really inspired to write this, because of reading a post from the homeschool author, Rachel Coker.  Her post is called "Say Yes To The Dress", which is the story of her experience in changing her own style and wearing dresses more.  I really connected with the message, and wanted to share my own experience.  She also has a fashion blog with one of her sisters, and it's really awesome, they dress really adorable.  I would love to dress like them. Their clothes are so cute! 

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